


Alone, or Lonely?

by manymessyfandoms



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Anxiety, Lonely Peter, Panic Attacks, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-18
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2019-05-08 18:12:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14699574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/manymessyfandoms/pseuds/manymessyfandoms
Summary: Peter Parker insisted he wasn't lonely. Except he was.





	Alone, or Lonely?

Peter Parker wasn’t lonely. 

He’s just been... on his own a lot lately. Between school and patrolling, he’d been finding him by himself most of the time, and it was fine. Totally and completely fine.

Except it wasn’t. 

It started getting bad when he couldn’t sleep at night. He’d get home from patrolling and May would already be in bed. He’d just lie there for hours, unable to relax. Then he’d get up in the morning and rush through his morning routine before racing to school. By lunch time, he’d be tired enough to snap at anyone that tried to talk to him. Immediately after that, the guilt over being rude would make his heart race for the rest of the day.

Then afterwards he’d patrol, and repeat. It was a never-ending cycle that had Peter always on edge.

“You want to come over after school and help me build the new set my mom bought me?” Ned asked as they were packing up to leave, their last class for the day finally being over.

“I can’t, man. I’ve got some stuff to do.”

Ned scoffed. “Yeah, I know what stuff you have to do. But, dude, you need a break. Come on, Peter. Come over,” Ned said, whining the last words.

“Another time?” Peter’s heart sank at Ned’s disappointed face. 

“Yeah, yeah, sure. Okay.”

“Ned-”

“I’ve got to go. My mom’s waiting for me.” And with that Ned left, leaving Peter standing there trying to calm down.

He didn’t know what was wrong with him. He should’ve been able to go hangout with his friend, but the thought of not patrolling stressed him out because what if something happened that he could’ve stopped? He couldn’t abandon these people. 

But as he watched his friend walk away, the thought that he was abandoning someone anyways had him frozen in spot, his heart going faster that normal. 

“Watch it, Penis!” Flash yelled as he ran into Peter, sending him stumbling towards the wall. Peter shook his head to shake him out of his stupor, and then he left the school. 

It was about two hours into patrolling when things took a turn for the worst. Peter was webbing up a couple car thieves when he heard a bang and felt a sharp pain in his side. He didn’t realize they had another friend. 

“Karen, call Tony,” he grunted out before whipping around and adding the third guy to the pile with the others. He had just finished securing them when he blacked out. 

After an indeterminable amount of time, Peter started to wake up to the feeling of fingers running through his hair. “‘Ello? What happened?” he mumbled.

“Peter, oh thank God,” Tony’s voice replied before Peter opened his eyes. “You scared me half to death, kid. From now on, I forbid you from getting shot.”

Peter laughed and involuntarily curled towards Tony. He glanced at the closing wound on his side. “Sorry. I’m, like, already healed though, and I even called you. That’s progress.”

Tony let out a thick chuckle. “Right. Progress.” There was a pause. “You’re taking a break from patrolling.”

“ _What_?”

“I talked to Karen. She told me you haven’t been sleeping and that you’re heart rate is almost always above normal. You never take any time for yourself, kid, and it’s taking a toll on you.”

For some reason, Peter felt like crying. “Traitor,” he mumbled to Karen before turning to Tony. “I’m fine, Mr. Stark. I can’t not patrol. People need Spiderman, people need me.”

“Exactly, people need you, Pete, and you can’t help people if you don’t help yourself. Peter?” For some reason, Peter’s breaths had gotten shorter and shorter until he couldn’t get anything in. “Hey, breathe, Pete. Breathe with me.” It took seconds, minutes, hours, for Peter to calm down. “That’s it. Good job, just keep breathing.”

“Something’s wrong with me, Tony,” he said tiredly when he was able to get words out. “I- I always am on edge. Not patrolling makes me feel bad, but patrolling makes me feel bad. I’m always disappointing someone. I don’t know. I just- I don’t feel right.”

Tony looked at him with a sad look on his face before pulling him into a hug. Peter shuddered and a few tears escaped his eyes. “It’s okay, Peter. I’ll help you.” Peter just nodded. 

The next day, Peter was shocked to find Tony Stark waiting outside for him after school. “Pete, Ted!” he called out when he saw Peter and Ned. “Come on, we’re going out.”

Ned turned to Peter with wide eyes. “Dude, what’s Tony Stark doing here? Dude!” Peter shrugged and walked towards the car.

“Tony,” Peter said when he got to him. “I... I’ve got stuff tonight.” His palms were sweating and his heart was racing already. 

“No you don’t,” he replied immediately. “I’ve recruited a few friends of ours to patrol tonight. You’re taking some time off.”

Peter blinked once, twice. “What? Who?” Just then Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff appeared, and Peter’s jaw dropped. “Are you kidding? This is a little below their pay grade, don’t you think?”

“Hey, Peter,” Steve said before Tony could reply. “Tony said you need some help. We’ll takeover for a little bit. Go relax.” The look on his face had Peter wondering what Tony had told them. 

“But- but-”

Natasha stepped forward. “It’s alright. We got this.” Peter almost laughed. Of course they had this. This was nothing to them. 

Just then, a hand clapped around Peter’s shoulder, and Peter once again leaned into it. “Come on, Pete,” Tony said. “It’s time to take care of yourself.”

Peter genuinely smiled for the first time in weeks and nodded. The knot of anxiety that had settled in his gut finally loosened a bit, and he felt his body relax slightly. 

“Okay, sure.” 

“Great! Ted, get on in the car.”

Peter held back a laugh. “Actually, it’s-”

“Yes, sir! Mr. Stark, sir,” Ned scrambled in the car. Peter laughed when Ned whispered to him, “I’m Ted now.”

Tony took them to a science museum and it was the most fun Peter had in awhile. He didn’t want it to end. 

But it did, and Peter prepared for things to go back to normal as they dropped Ned off at his house. “Mr. Stark,” Peter said as they drove away. “My house is that way.”

“We’re going to the Tower, kid. You’re spending the weekend with me.”

“Huh?” Peter so eloquently got out. “I- I mean, aren’t you busy?”

Tony shook his head. “Nah, not really. Only plans for this weekend are hanging out with this pain in the ass kid that I like a lot for some reason.”

Peter laughed. “Sounds like a lot of work. You sure that kid’s worth it?”

“Oh yeah,” Tony clasped a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sure.”

That night they were laying on the couch watching a movie when Tony spoke up. “What’s been going on with you, Peter?”

Peter shifted, uncomfortable. He knew what he was talking about. “I told you,” he mumbled. “I just don’t want to disappoint anyone.”

“You had a panic attack the other day just talking about this. Come on, what’s going on in that surprisingly brilliant head of yours.”

Peter cracked the smallest of smiles before it faded. “I... I don’t really know, actually. It’s just... I’m always alone with myself. When I patrol I’m alone, I go to bed I’m alone, I go to school on my own. I don’t know. It’s like, I feel like I’m disappointing someone always, and I hate being alone, but I need to be alone, and I feel like I’m suffocating-” Peter broke off when Tony put a hand on the back on his neck and pulled him into a hug. Peter clutched him like a lifeline. 

“You know I had really bad anxiety for awhile,” Tony said. “Similar thing to you, but then I was reminded that I can’t help anyone until I help myself.” Tony pulled away and looked at Peter. “You have a whole network of people around you that want to help. You’re not alone. Let us be there for you, Pete.”

Peter nodded and a few tears leaked from his eyes. He felt as if a weight was lifted from his shoulders. “But I can’t let _Captain America_ do my work, Tony,” he said with a laugh. “The Avengers have more important things to do than walk old ladies across the street.”

“Newflash, kid, the Avengers do what they want. And if what we want to do is be the friendly-neighborhood-Avengers for awhile to help you out, then that’s what we’re going to do.” Peter grinned and Tony ruffled his hair. “You’re going to be okay, Pete. We’re going to help you.”

Peter smiled, the warmth in his heart overtaking the cold, and for the first time, Peter thought he was going to be okay. 

"Thank you, Tony."

Tony grinned. "Anything for you, kid. Anything for you."


End file.
